OPINION: Why spending thousands to become Beckham won’t banish the insecurities

Christian Guiltenane brings Becks wannabe back down to earth with some crushing home truths

| Updated:


Unemployed Jack Johnson, 19, has astonishingly spent tens of thousands of pounds trying desperately to look like his idol David Beckham.

And guess what? It hasn’t worked? Quelle Surprise!

Why? Because Jack isn’t and never will be, David Beckham. Fact.

For one, their bone structure is totally different and no matter what he does to change his looks, Jack will never look like the famed footballer.

And secondly he has zero talent. But more about that later.

Speaking on This Morning, plus-sized Jack explained that his desire to be David stemmed from his teenage depression and insecurities.

If true, that’s sad because no young fella should go through life feeling s**t about themselves.

Medical help should be sought and I bet you that no doctor worth his salt will prescribe him a course of antidepressants with a side order of cosmetic surgery.

The bottom line is – trying to turn himself into a buff Beckham isn’t going to change what’s going on in his head.

If he’s insecure, the guy should be a man and actually accept who he is.

But what he went on to tell Pip and Hols on the show suggested that his desire to look like the world’s most handsome footie star was more about the need for fame and adoration than combatting years of mental anguish!

He said his lifelong dream was to hang out with the likes of Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj and Katie Price and longed to be on Simon Cowell’s speed dial!

Ah so that’s it! He wants to be famous. Suddenly all the sympathy drains away.

Jack, it would seem, is one of those delusional young types who are populating our world at an alarmingly fast rate.

He wants to live the glamorous lifestyle of the rich and famous – but by doing it the easy way.

Which in his case means, by not working hard and having no discernible talent.

“I never thought I was normal, I never fitted in,” he bleated moronically on the show. “I want to be an actor, I want to be a presenter.”

He even said he wanted to shed his considerable pounds by having a gastric band – for God’s sake, Jack. Put some work in!

Well, Jack, from what I’ve seen of you, you’re never going to be a presenter or an actor and I say this as a magazine editor of 15 years who has spotted true stars, with great talents.

Yes, you may get your 15 minutes of fame on Big Brother or get gawped at on some other trashy reality freak show.

You have zero star quality though, or any noticeable skills that would warrant success in that field.

I’m not being mean. I am being realistic. And it’s about time someone was with you.

The problem with Jack is that he is from a generation of young people who think success is measured by fame.

Worse still, they think fame just lands in their lap without any hard work.

Read more: Naked Pricasso paints Holly and Phil with his privates live on TV

We have the likes of TOWIE and Ex On The Beach to blame for this. People who crave fame but are too lazy to actually hone a talent.

Unless that talent is the inability to construct a sentence or to sh*g shamelessly on screen. But that is the belief that permeates this generation and it’s scary!

This desperation for fame is such an ugly and futile quality in people – those X Factor people who beg and plead with the judges that their ‘life depends on it’ make me feel queasy.

No, people, your lives don’t depend on it. Get a real job like the rest of us. It’s insulting to people who work tough nine-to-five jobs.

Their lives are all about feeding and clothing themselves, not worrying about how they look.

Jack, for your sake, you need to wake up and realise that you have to be responsible for your own life. Be realistic.

Bottom line, you don’t look like David Beckham and its unlikely that you will be famous. That’s just the way it is. Deal with it.

Read more: X Factor star claims she was kidnapped and sexually assaulted

Instead, make your life better. Forget about looking like someone else and embrace the real you.

Acceptance of self is the most important thing and then you will be happy and people will love you for who are.

I know I am never going to be as good looking as David Beckham or Thom Evans, but I am happy being me.

So Jack, instead of looking for a life that is a total fantasy, why not come back to earth and work out what amazing things you yourself can achieve in real life.

You might actually just surprise yourself.

Christian Guiltenane
Freelance Writer